Tag Archives: guest writer

7 Steps to Becoming All-Star Parents by Cooper Long 

It seems that every parent has some sort of success story behind their parenting. Since my children are literally perfectly flawless creations, I figured I would share some of my parenting genius for you all. So, I have compiled what I deemed to be the best facts to help you raise the best kids. Here are 7 tips to make your children better. Enjoy! 

1. First things first, make sure you plan out EVERYTHING. You want to make sure you do this before you’re pregnant if at all possible. Make sure to account for every moment possible. But don’t have a back-up plan. You don’t want to show her your lack of confidence in her abilities by having contingency plans, do you? So, make sure to perfect that plan A! Don’t leave anything for chance, improvisation, individuality, set-backs, or whatever.

 

2. You want to make sure to build character from the beginning. The last thing you want your toddler to be is dependent on everyone else, right? You want your child to be a winner! If your child is legitimately hungry, they’ll figure it out. Did she fall and hurt herself? Don’t coddle her, let her toughen up. And sportsmanship? She’ll lose until she wins, period.

 

3. Make sure you’re tough with discipline. You should be running your family like some sort of totalitarian dictator. Make sure the rules are arbitrary, situation based, and over-the-top. The stricter and more nonsensical the rules, the better.

 

4. Watch what food you buy! In order for your children to be the best, they must eat the best. Make sure that you only buy local, organic, antibiotic free, hormone free, free-range, and non-GMO products. Really, you might just want to avoid dairy, eggs, soy, gluten, peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, meat, Oreos, and flavor. Just eat grass. Also, you can’t trust anything if it’s not from a Whole Foods or other health food store, so don’t bother shopping anywhere else.

 

5. Two words: boarding school. The only way they can truly socialize is for you to completely destroy your parental bonds in order to clear a way for easier networking by shipping them off to boarding school. It would be preferable if the school retrieves them by dragging them out of the bed in the middle of the night. That’s how the most precious memories are made.

 

6. Make them pay for everything. How else will they learn the value of hard work and money? Is your toddler hungry? Make him get a job. Don’t set up the expectation that you’ll clothe them, either. At least not for free. Be like a loan shark with all of their debts. The real world is a cruel place, and they need to learn that from a young age.

 

7. Use your electronics to your advantage! Electronic babysitters are the best, and they are economical options too. Why would you pay a human to do a job a machine can much more easily do? Need to get some cleaning done? Set the kids in front of the TV for a few hours and lock the door. Voila, you get your chores done, the kids enjoy 5 hours of TV time! Going on a long weekend getaway? Set the kids up with their video game systems and lay out a food bowl. You get three days without kids, the kids get three days to improve their high scores! It’s simple, quick, and effective.

 

So, there you have it. Call me in ten years when your child is the most mild-mannered and winningest child out of all of your friends. I know that you’ll be begging me for more of these pro-tips.

 

Hit me up on facebook (www.facebook.com/clongwordsandforms), or via e-mail (longsstoryshorts@gmail.com).

 

© Long’s Story Shorts, 2016

Are you crazy? By Riya Sharma

You are Pakistani and you want to marry an Indian girl? Are you crazy? You are not just two human beings in love, you are two different religions, two rival nations constantly at a war! Where do you see love in it?You are enemies and unless you want to perish in the hands of society, you go marry a a girl of your ‘label’.
You are gay? Are you crazy? Nobody is gay by birth! You are supposed to love a girl not a person you love. It is just a phase and you will soon be over it. Have the homosexuals gotten to ya? There is no such thing as being gay. It is an illusion, you can’t be gay!
You want to wear a skirt? Are you crazy? You are a male and skirts are for females. It is not just a stupid piece of clothing, it is the representation of female gender! You can’t wear skirts.
You are a female and you want to become the head of a church or a temple? Are you crazy? Is it not enough that you are included in the choir? You can’t reach the top! What will happen when you get periods? You are impure then, cause you can totally control your hormones.
You are 50 and not yet married? Are you crazy? How can you not share your earnings, that you earned, with someone else? Do you not feel insecure? Who will take care of you? Cause you will forever be a baby girl! Cause marrying is not living with the person you love, it is living with a bodyguard. You are fifty and not married? You must be a slut! You go marry the first person you see!
You are a student and not good at studies? Are you crazy? Who cares you are good at art? Who cares you have good morals? You ain’t doing shit if you do not score an A+ in maths! cause Pewdiepie is totally using algebraic equations to earn his dollars.
You are not fit? Are you crazy? You are flat? Are you anorexic? You are curvy? Are you obese? You go work out 27/7 and die out of being tired cause that is common sense!
All the people mentioned above, are you crazy? You are not human beings, you are a subject of gossips! You do not deserve to live, unless you follow the rules and norms of the society! so you go get an A+ in maths and science, work on your fitness and marry a person of opposite sex from your own religion, at the age of 21 and also, wear a jeans! Riya Out!
Peace!
*this was obviously me being my super sarcastic self and I just wanted to let all the stupid people know what they sound like. I do not mean it and I guess people who say the above mentioned stuff shouldn’t be taken seriously!. Life is too short not to live it.*

Honour killing by Stuti Sood

Both of ’em were bound by the societyBut they believed in the All mighty

They thought their love was strong enough

But in the end they could not do much.
They both could not live without each other

But the society wanted them to suffer

They thought maybe they had a chance

To the past they glance.
Their Eltern were furious

They noise of the horses after them was melodious.

They were in rage

They wanted their children to be kept in cage.
Boys had no wishes 

Girls had no choice

They were killed

If they raised their voice
Their honour was hurt which was always kept high

And they killed their beloved with a sigh!

Colourless tears were rolling down the daughter’s cheeks

Her wound would never heal.
She felt shattered

Her wounds did not mattered

End of two lives with swords and knives
They both went away together smiling

Is this honour killing?

It killed two innocents

With utter sorrow 

My head bends. 

p.s. I am just 15 but even this honour killing makes me feel suffocated. I know it s\is full of agony, but sometimes we need to really think. 

Thankyou for giving me a chance to say what I feel. ❤ 

My blog: 

https://stutisoodblog.wordpress.com/