Hello everyone, you may have noticed this is my first article for a very long time. I have mostly been advertising other peoples post on the site and it has been an absolutely wonderful experience to share other people’s talents every day and finding them new followers along the way. Today, I want to talk more openly about autism, using my experience and how I tried to help others along the way.
Yesterday, I can across two very different messages, I won’t mention them names on here but I will describe each one and how I answered them at the time.
The first was a scenario. We have a male and a young boy, both with autism, one is a fully grown adult in his 30’s and has a girlfriend. The young boy has just turned 10 at the time. The adult has described the young boy as his ‘twin brother’ that ‘he is the peak of paradise for me’ and ‘I am ready to live all my life by his side and die.’ And according to one eyewitness, described them hugging too much. The question that has asked by me was ‘Is this normal for autistic people to be like this?’
Now firstly, what we all need to understand is the autistic mind works very differently to people without autism. At first glance, I find the story quite sweet. People with autism do struggle with communication and making friends as a result, so this could be quite a special bond between the two. It reminds me of one of my favourite books I’ve read this year called ‘A boy made of blocs.’ This is about a relationship between a father and his autistic son, an absolute brilliant read, I would highly recommend you reading the book if you want to learn more about day-to-day life with an autistic son and compare the experiences.
Some people who would see these two people hugging too much would find it a bit strange but for me, one way to think about it is learning more about autism itself and how different levels could affect everyone. Not everyone with autism will have the same condition, some would require more attention that others. Level 1 means it requires support for social communication and interaction with difficulty switching between different activities. Level 2 means it requires substantial support with behaviour, coping with change and difficulty or distress in changing focus or action. Level 3 means it requires very substainal support with greater difficulties in social, behaviour and change. Some would even need 24 hour care and may need help with everyday like eating, getting changed etc..
For me, communication has been a very big learning curve and I was more slower in developing than others. Maybe I have been more independent than I think I am, who knows. The job as a postman has been a huge benefit in that, especially seeing either everyday people or work colleagues, I can’t thank them enough with that. I don’t particularly like change myself but it happens, even if you want to try and develop myself overall to be a better person. More on that later.
The 2nd scenario was a voice call and the person was telling me that her daughter age 4. She has just been recently diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), he had a look at my blog and wanted to ask questions to hear my story on my experiences. I will tell you what I told him on that call.
I was a similar age when I was diagnosed with autism. I would have no control of myself whatsoever, even became physically agreesive towards my parents without knowing what I did. It hurts me thinking about it now, even though I’m the sort of person know that loves to help others and wouldn’t hurt others.
My primary school days, I always had a learning support assistant by my side called Mrs Palmer. We still keep in contact for a yearly meeting whenever we can as a catch up. My development have been very slow although I did have a specialist subject, being Maths. Most people with autism will show an interest in something and have knowledge that can be truly amazing. The support from Mrs Palmer has been incredible, can’t thank her enough.
One of the biggest challenges was finding a secondary school that I could cope with at the time. One of the usual secondary schools would be a bit manic, full of activity and I just wouldn’t be able to cope. So instead, there was a very good alternative, a 20 minute drive was The Priory school in Spalding, a school based around special needs teenagers. It did have educational purposes but later in the years, more life skills was thrown in the mix and that proved very valuable in the future. Once again can’t thank the school enough for some of the best memories as a teenager.
The biggest change in myself was coming into my 20’s when I felt like I belonged in this world and my confidence was slowly building up and finding myself a very different, more complete person as a result. The person from the other side mentioned that the way I spoke and talking, it didn’t feel like I had autism at all. It was wonderful to hear the compliments and it has only grow more confidence in me as a result but this is how I am now and a very different challenge for me to tackle.
The reason why I haven’t been doing the podcast/ video blogs at the present time is because I am recovering from depression. I do have help which I am talking to each week as a way of opening up if it’s positive or negative news. A small part was due to previous relationships, a much bigger chunk was due to sadness, feeling lonely in big groups and how events in the past can still linger inside you. However, there are ways I can tackle it and it involves both physically and mentally.
Physically, I was thinking about activities that are both a benefit to me and something enjoyable as a result. I purchased a bike in which I do cycling rides when the weather is nice outside. I also do morning exercises via the Fitstar app, connected to my Fitbit. Recently, I decided to push myself and see how far I could jog without the need for water. That took me to a village called Dyke and into Northorpe. The result was 9.9miles in over 1hour 30mins. I was honestly speechless that I was a few miles off a half marathon. That gave me insipiration to join a local running group in which I had my first training lesson last night, something I would defiantly join again.
Mentally, is finding stuff to do like joining the running group and having the weekly talking sessions to get the feelings out of me. I have also gone back into online dating and had meet some great people as a result. Would that lead to a relationship? Who knows. If it’s just a friendship, then I am more than happy with that still.
The thing for me that keeps me going is the power of positivity, things that keep me happy in life and how I can always give it 110% each and every day. Autism will always stay with but that doesn’t mean I can live my life to the full and show everyone that it isn’t the end of the road and inspire people along the way as well. There is too much shit going on in this world that could make us feel worried, depressed and low as a result. Together, let’s make this world a better place, spread the autism word around and help as many individuals as possible along the way.
Thank you very much for reading this post. Please do like, comment and share this post so that we can spread the message around. If you have any question please do not hesitate to contact me on here or via by email address email@example.com
I will look forward to hearing from you. Bye 😃😃 xx