After The Best Years Of Our Lives (starless) by Max_That_Trans_Guy

Happy. No. Joyful. No. What do I feel? What is this? I’m too tired for this! All I know, is I’m here. Laying on the roof of this gas-less car. Looking at the dark, seemingly endless sky. Looking at Sarah. Wondering how I got here. Not wanting to be anywhere else. The sky is starless, but that’s okay. Sarah’s smiling eyes make up for it. Nothing about this moment is perfect. Our car is out of gas. Our phones are dead. Our plans are set back. But there is something about the way the air I’m breathing feels. It makes me realize that anywhere else in the world would be worse, because Sarah wouldn’t be with me. I wish I could kiss her. I don’t know why, but I want to. “Sarah?” I start. Looking towards her.

 She turns.

 “Freddie! Look! The tow truck! We are saved.” Sarah yells, enthusiastically jumping on the roof of the car.

 Saved. I’m not sure I wanted to be. I didn’t think it was that bad. I liked the calm nature of our conversations prior to the, just as calming, silence.

 “What are you two ladies doing out here at this time of night? ” A kind, older, gentleman says, getting out of the big, red, tow truck.    

  “Our car ran out of gas. We were actually driving to the town a few miles north, but then the fuel gage went from full to the big red E.” Sarah announces, friendly smile still ear to ear. She is an oversharer, but stays cheery. Even in dire situations like our car breaking down in the middle of nowhere.
 The man goes to his car and grabs a giant tank of gasoline.

 “All filled up. Goodnight!” The southern old man announces going back to his truck.

 “I’ll drive” I offer.

 “You sure? It’s a long way ’till we get to the hotel we are staying at.” Sarah responds.

 “Yeah. You need your rest. Besides, you got us this far.” I insist. I open her door for her and then get into the driver’s seat. She is soon taken by drowsiness. Followed by sleep. Leaving me alone, with nothing but my favorite alternative rock channel and my thoughts.
 It’s moments like these I wish I had someone to talk to. Moments where I have been consumed by complete confusion. I glance over at Sarah. her beautiful hair in a messy knot. She was curled up in a ball, sleeping and shivering. I decided to do the one thing I could do without having to question myself as to why. I took off my jacket and covered her with it. She looked so peaceful, laying there. Dare I say, she was the cutest thing I have ever seen. Suddenly I hit a bump on the windy, elevated, road.
 “Shit!” I exclaim, getting the car back on track.
 Looking back at Sarah briefly, I saw she still slept soundly.

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At The Time by Max_That_Trans_Guy 

Mason never knew why he was drawn to Jay. Was it his defined cheekbones, mysteries eyes, maybe his height (which was far above average). All Mason knew, or thought at the time, was it was a shame he would never see this man again. Jay was his point of interest, which was odd, considering his point of interest should have been the airport security line….

“Dude, are you going to go?” the guy behind Mason angrily snarls. Snapping back to reality, he quietly apologizes and walks forward.
Jay was two spots in front of Mason in line, but noticed his stares. The, seemingly, younger man intimidated Jay with those blue eyes of his. They were piercing through his skull like a lead bullet, but Mason’s soft smile calmed Jay’s nerves. Jay had never been flirted with. Was Mason, the unnamed man staring at Jay, flirting? Jay didn’t know.
He wasn’t. Or at least, he hadn’t meant to. Yes, Mason found Jay equally as attractive as he was intriguing, but Mason was never a flirt.
A long hour later, Jay sat in the window seat on a flight to New York. It was said to be a full flight, but no one sat in the two seats next to him. Gassing out the window, he saw the land he would soon leave. It was exciting, but almost as intimidating as the odd man’s blue eyes.
Once again, Jay’s thoughts strayed to Mason. Until, he saw the man in the isle of the plane.
Mason saw Jay, and the two empty seats. He contemplated walking past him, but decided against it. He wanted to sit down, and he wanted to know the dark skinned man he was intrigued by earlier.
“Is anyone sitting here?” Mason asked Jay his thick British accent sticking out as much as his eyes.
Jay nodded his head no of Mason sington and put a suitcase in the upper head compartment. Mason had two bags, as did Jay. A suitcase and a backpack, as anyone brought for a trip.
“Where are you going?” Jay asked, kicking himself for asking such a stupid question to such a beautiful boy. Mason turned to face Jay, and admired his smooth voice.
“I’m going to The Big Apple, New York, New York, The City To Be. Whatever other names it goes by, I live there.” Mason laughs. He was never one for small talk, but he desperately wanted to talk to Jay.
Shocked at Mason’s extended response, Jay answered back a simple “Me too.”
That was scary to Mason. Not because they were going to the same place, they were, after all, on the same flight. He was scared he would grow attached to the man on the plane.
“I’m Mason. Mason Knight.” Mason says, offering his hand to Jay.
“Hello Mason. I’m Jay. Jay Dun. It’s a play on my father’s name, Jaden.” Jay responds. He cringes at his own words. He hates how his anxiety causes him to say too much.
“I like that.” Mason laughs.
Caught in conversation, the two boys didn’t seem to notice that the aisle seat was still open. They sat close, Mason in the middle and Jay at the window.
“Would either of you like anything?” a perky flight attendant asked.
They nodded her off and laughed at the fact that they missed take off.
“So, Mr.Knight, what is your occupation?” Jay laughed, half way at his word choice and the other half at the question.
“I’m a pilot.” Mason tells him. A lie.
“How ironic?” Jay chuckles in response.
“No, not really. I’m a lawyer. Currently in a training program.” Mason brags.
“Fancy. I’m an ordinary therapist.” Jay says. Mason blushed at the thought of a cut man like Jay in a suit working out his problems. He had many. Such as being disowned by his parents when he came out.
“Does that mean you can tell what I’m thinking?” Mason joked. He hoped Jay couldn’t tell what he was feeling. He needed to keep this plane friendship as “normal” as possible. If Jay turned out to be homophobic, or a psychopath, he could lose a friend entering New York. Mason internally sighed at his thoughts, he was only, after all, overthinking.
Jay stared at Mason. In a friendly way, of course. Well, actually, in a romantic way. But Jay thought it could pass as a playful stare. Jay wanted to know what Mason was feeling, but being a therapist didn’t make you psykik.Jay hoped Mason was feeling the same thing he was; an innocent crush. But, that seemed wrong to tell a stranger.
“You are thinking ‘There is no way you know what I’m thinking.’” Jay confidently states, trying not to burst out laughing.
“How did you know” they both finally burst into tears giggling. Mason knew this to be another lie, but this time, the truth wasn’t closely following. The thought of his romantic feelings for Jay would remain between him and the empty Halls of the house that was Mason’s mind.
 They talked for about 10 minutes more, before Mason passed out on Jay’s shoulder. This was not planned. In fact, if Mason were to wake up right now, or find out however he were to find out if it were to happen, he would be quite embarrassed. Jay blushed up Mason, stopping himself from stroking his hair. He wanted to, doing it felt like something he should be doing, but he didn’t. He just sat there, slowly dozing off with the boy on the shoulder.
“Do you have any trash, sir?” the same flight attendant asked, obviously attempting to wake one of the sleeping men. She did. Jay woke up to the loud woman’s voice.
“No ma’am.” he responded. He rubbed his eyes only to open them to Mason still peacefully sleeping. He was sad to see Mason off his shoulder, but happy to see he was getting some rest. Before he died, Jay’s dad was a lawyer. Law school was hard on him.
Mason snapped awake after the plane hit a bump of turbulence, just in time to see Jay to see Jay push up his glasses. Mason had a thing for guys with glasses.
“Good morning.” Jay laughed, eyeing Mason’s messy hair.
“Fish. Did I really fall asleep?” Mason asked. He wondered if he had said something stupid in his sleep.
“Yes, but don’t worry, I did too.” Jay responds, taking off his glasses and putting away his book; Human Nature.
Mason stared at Jay, and Jay stared back. There was an overwhelming feeling between the two. The feeling that both their lives changed when they laid eyes on eachother.
“Can I ask you a crazy question?” Mason asked. He had hoped to ask a very different question, but instead this came out of his mouth and into the warm air.
Thinking for a second, Jay decided to respond with an answer equally as daring as the one Mason had wished he had asked.
“Yes, I would love to go out with you.”
Mason’s heart beat fast to the sound of Jay’s voice. That answer, Jay’s answer, started something beautiful

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Tour by Max_That_Trans-Guy

You say you understand,
I don’t think you do.
After all, I’m me,
And you’re you.
But, you say you want to try,
So less dive into my mind.
But there really is no telling what we might find.
 
Over there? That’s the hell that is dysmorphia.
What’s this? Memories of never fitting in.
All these things banging at the door I call my sanity.
But, oh wait, there’s more!
 
The constant feeling of hate is right around the corner.
And that thing we call depression, or despair for even waking up in the morning, is to the left of the invisible acceptance I receive.
My only safe haven being distraction,
For fear of not being good enough, even for someone as pitiful as myself is overwhelming.
 
Of course, we could go on.
There is more to the tour of my mind.
But, you’re bored.
Teird.
And you frankly don’t care.
So Ill leave you with one last goodbye……

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