Now in my mid-forties, memories of my childhood are increasingly fleeting, lack detail, and nuance. I will say that my parents were strongly committed to family and sought to have a home full of love, respect, and discipline. Of course, no family is perfect. Mine was no different – Asperger’s saw to that.
I have always struggled to relate to my parents, siblings, or anyone else, to have any solid or strong emotional connection. This is not to claim that I do not have filial love, or that I am incapable of regard for others. It just seems that it is harder to develop and not as deep and abiding as I desire. And, it has pained me that I am unable to experience the full joy, satisfaction, and connection that others without Asperger’s Syndrome experience in their social relationships. I now know why.
A symptom of Asperger’s Syndrome (AS)…
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