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WHEN WORDS AREN’T ENOUGHBy Tammy Nicole Glover

I can’t go in there. If I go in there, I’ll have to tell Peter my secret. He doesn’t deserve that. He has been the sweetest, most loving husband. He’s probably in the kitchen right now making dinner.Why did he have to insist on me going to the doctor today? Why couldn’t he just leave well enough alone? Now, Pandora’s Box has been opened and all hell is about to break loose. I worked so hard to keep this secret locked up. I actually thought the stress of keeping it locked away was why I had been so sick. No such luck there.

I should be happy right now. After all, a miracle has happened. After years of trying, I’m finally pregnant. It’s news that Peter would be overjoyed to hear but the problem is that it’s not his baby.

I know you’re thinking that I’m a sorry excuse for a wife. You’re asking, how could I have betrayed such a wonderful man. You would be right. I am a mess and he doesn’t deserve a mess. But I didn’t cheat on him. I could never cheat on my husband. I love him and I can’t see myself with any other man. Well, at least that was before I was raped. There, I said it, I was raped and I’m pregnant. It should be Peter’s baby. All I can see is that monster forcing himself on me. The memories are suffocating. I hoped and prayed that they would just go away but I know now that they are here to stay. What’s worse is that I’ll probably lose my husband now.

I just can’t go in that house. I’m not ready to lose my husband. I wonder how long I can sit in the car before he comes out to get me. I wish I could just turn around and drive until the road runs out but instead, I’m sitting in the car, with a death grip on the steering wheel, bracing for impact.