Let’s Talk About Rape And The Failure Of Our System

A Momma's View

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I’m fed up. Once again. This post will be all over the place because I am truly angry. Angry and frustrated!

Fed up by the system that seems to be worth the same shit everywhere: Nothing. It’s called justice system and yet justice is not done in so many cases. The victim is marked forever while the offender walks away able to have a pretty life in a pretty home with his pretty family… oh, and a pretty future of course.

We live in a culture that obviously accepts sex being forced upon someone as not as bad. We live in a society that believes financial fraud needs to be punished harsher than rape. We live in a society where judges believe that a rapist needs to get away with only a couple of months behind bars because of the huge impact the sentence could otherwise have on his future…

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10 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Rape And The Failure Of Our System”

  1. Thank you for sharing this post, David. I read it over at her blog and commented there as well. This gave me the feels.
    I am a survivor and I am so sick of the pervasive rape culture that surrounds us. Rather than teaching boys not to rape, our society insists that we teach girls how not to be raped, as though it’s our fault to begin with. A “boys will be boys” mentality is terrifying. Ugh.
    Anyway, thanks again and take care. =)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In many ways, I absolutely agree with you. My sons have been taught from Day One that women are to be revered and respected. I have five of them, so it goes without saying that a lot of instruction has gone into them. My sons are 15, 12, 11, 9 and 5, and they’re taught that they are sons of the Most High God, and are expected to act as such.

      I also have four daughters, all of whom have been (or are in the process of being) taught that they are priceless. They are 17, 13, 8 and 17 months. They’re taught that they’re wonderful daughters of the Most High God, and shouldn’t ever accept any less than treatment commensurate with such standing.

      In this sense, I’m ensuring that my children grow up knowing what true equality and strength looks like. I’ve taught them that they’re to accept no less than that from the people around them, no matter where they go in life.

      That being said, do you know what else I’m teaching them? How to defend themselves. All of my children are trained to varying degrees in hand-to-hand combat, blades, blunt weapons, improvised weapons and firearms. Why? Simply put, as much effort as I put onto their instruction, I know that there are people out there who either weren’t ever taught, or chose to disregard all early instruction.

      One day, my children might find themselves in a position to defend themselves or others, and I want them to be as ready as I can get them. Their lives and the lives others will depend upon it.

      That, to my mind, isn’t “victim shaming” or anything resembling it. That’s just good sense. I freely acknowledge that there are dangerous human predators out there, and we can’t always be there to protect any of our children. So, my other half and I go out of our way to teach them.

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      1. Self defense skills are wonderful, I wouldn’t criticize you for teaching them. My point was that women are told that if they are dressed a certain way, or had one alcoholic beverage, or just have the reputation of being “one of those” girls, they will be blamed for their own sexual assaults. Sadly, it reminds me of Regency England. If I dare show my ankle, I’m just asking for it!
        I have never been trained in self defense, but I often wish I had been. I’m not saying it’s too late for me to learn, just that my disabilities prevent me from doing much, so I go around protected only by a cautious-but-friendly attitude and kind eyes. Would that it were enough.
        It sounds to me like you’re raising your kids in an awesome way, a way I wish I had been raised. My upbringing was almost the opposite of that. In my old neighborhood, the Catholic church dictated that women were always less than. One rib of a man is all it takes to make a woman, a woman brings all of humanity’s suffering upon us, women are the dirty ones, and so on.
        All of this to say, good job. I wish you luck.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow. You hit me with a lot. There’s a lot of ground to cover, so I’ll begin with the end of your statement and move up, if that’s alright with you.

        First, I understand what you mean about Catholicism. Thankfully, I was raised Protestant, by a mother who was a feminist. I say “was a feminist” because, while her body still lives, Alzheimer’s has taken her mind hostage.

        Their insistence on holding women to original sin never fails to amuse me, as it demonstrates a clear lack of understanding of what happened in the Garden of Eden.

        There were two people, both were judged as guilty, and both given a punishment commensurate with their crime. It’s simply a case of collective selective amnesia that they focus on Eve, to the utter exclusion of Adam.

        Eve’s crime was feminine pride, egged on by the serpent. Adam’s crime was indifference and irresponsibility. Both were punished for their respective crimes, both through their expulsion from the Garden, and through means that are passed on to each generation.

        Now, why were they given punishments that were generational? Because, prior to their disobedience, there was no such thing as death, Sin or disease. Their actions introduced those things into the world. As we say in the Army, theres always that one guy who ruins things for everybody else.

        Since many aren’t generally aware, what was Adam’s generational punishment? All of his male descendants now bear full responsibility for the Sins of their families, as well as their own.

        From that day on, all men were commanded to be the spiritual leaders of their families. Everything their families do fall under their responsibility, under their cover. There is no escaping it, either.

        It goes further than that, though. Men are called to model God for their children. This means it’s their job to act as a representative of God, for their children. They have to demonstrate all of His qualities, to the best of their ability, to their children. They’re also responsible for bringing their children into a full relationship with God.

        It’s a shame you were raised in such a desultory manner. Women are the bringers of life. Without them, there is no humanity. It’s for that reason, among a multitude of others, that women ought to be treated with special reverence and respect.

        Believe it or not, the most powerful weapon any human possesses is their mind. It can also be their greatest hindrance. It just depends on how one chooses to employ it.

        Your attitude is a great place to start. If you project a polite but watchful attitude, very few will be willing to try you for anything. So, that does you a great service. Many will simply assume you’re confidence is there for a reason, and avoid tangling with you.

        Now, we get to the very heart of the matter. It frustrates me to no end, to hear women told that they somehow brought it upon themselves. Do we tell the families of murder victims that the victim brought it on themselves? In most cases, no.

        Oftentimes, this attitude reflects a lack of understanding behind what motivates a rapist. It isn’t about sex. Even a rapist knows they can hire a prostitute, if that’s what they want.

        It’s about control and power. They derive a certain thrill from knowing the woman they’re with was bent to their will, their whim. That’s what motivates them.

        However, they’re utter cowards, too. Studies have shown that rapists target the victims whom are the most vulnerable. They want the easy target, the victim who’s guard is down.

        They aren’t likely to mess around with the person who’s going to put up too much of a fuss. That’s why so many use ambush methods to overpower their victims. By the time shock has worn off, the rapist has achieved their goal.

        It’s for this reason women are advised on ways to avoid becoming a victim. It isn’t because “she had it coming”, it’s because there’s a direct correlation between vulnerability and victimization.

        Liked by 1 person

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