Death Wish by Zeenath Jahaan

I let myself goAnd how!

A death wish for myself

I let them see, touch and feel

I let them come in me, I let them steal

I let the robbers loot me penniless

And the lovers, love me to pieces

I let the rapists have the pleasure of my cries

I let the saints sin to my heaving breast’s sighs

The children went back home, red faced and flustered

The old had to drag their feet back home, restless

I let all of it go

Each thrust of a man unknown, breaks me a little inside

Each thrust of a man unknown, makes your image, harder to hide

Each thrust of a man unknown, I resist yet I want

I want to exist no more, the woman you loved.

Yet at nights when I am left alone

In shadows flickering I catch your reflection

And I howl and scream rending the heavens asunder

But they never send you back

So I sin.

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