The 2nd of the interviews from the latest episode, tells a story of a singer from Bolivia, destined for bigger things in the future. Mauro rose to fame age 10 in his home country, went onto producing a couple of albums and wants to take it to the next level. We discuss songwriting, fame and his future plans for his music.
The latest in our series on interviews on my radio show, with another double header, started with DeAnn Warren. From her blog itsfoodforyourmind.wordpress.com, it was more of a blog promotion interview, featuring why god means so much to her and talking about the term Woosah!! and giving a few examples of it. Hope you enjoy it guys.
6 years ago: I was only 16. A sophomore in high school and I had no idea what I was doing. I was really shy, didn’t really talk to anyone besides my friends. Although, I never really thought they were truly my friends. I didn’t feel like I fit in anywhere. Looking back, I miss high school. I had a group I belonged to. I had people I could talk to. Now, all that’s left is one person. Let’s go back though.
I was only 16. He was 17. He was a senior. He looked like a football player but he wasn’t, at least not anymore. He used to play football but once he got hurt he stopped. We started talking through Facebook. We didn’t meet in person for a whole year. We rarely talked anyway. When we did talk, all we talked about were things he was interested in. I would see him in school but he didn’t know that I actually existed. The closest I got to him was at the end of his senior year. We were both in detention, or whatever it was called. I was there because I missed too many days of school. He was there, probably for drinking while in school. I was so stupid. He didn’t scare me though but he should have. During the summer after his senior year, we started talking more. We ended up meeting up at my house to watch a movie. I should have known something wasn’t right, when the first thing he did was kiss me. At the time, I thought it might have been because I was special. Again, I was so stupid. There were a lot of things I didn’t know about him. Our first date, didn’t cost anything, all we did was watch a movie. We lay on my couch and at one point I was on top of him. I remember this so vividly. I looked at him and said, ‘This isn’t going to work.’ He looked so upset and I realized that he thought I meant we weren’t going to work. I explained that it was just the position we were sitting in. It surprised me, the look he gave me. It was only our first date. I mean, did he even really care if we didn’t work out? I did, I had been watching him for about a year by this time, but not him.
5.5 years ago: He was a very bright man. He didn’t care though. He only cared about how he could get money and where he could get drugs next. That sounds a little blunt but that’s how it was. Now of course, I knew very little about his habits at the start of our relationship. He knew I was clean, I thought he was. Half a year later is when he told me that he had still been popping pills and smoking. When he told me, it was also the night we both lost our virginities. Of course, he proceeded to tell me that he had stopped when he realized that I was more important to him than the drugs were. Turns out he was lying. I should have known. I will probably blame myself for letting it go this long, forever.
After his confession, I thought he had stopped so I didn’t tell anyone about his ‘old’ habits. The next year was probably the best year of my life. I was a senior, I had a boyfriend, I had friends, and I got accepted to UNT. It was towards the end of my senior year that things took a turn for the worst…again.
4.5 years ago: At first, I wasn’t the kind to go snooping. I was perfectly happy us living our separate lives. One day, though, I was at his house and we were watching netflix on his computer. He left me to his computer while he went to the bathroom. He was taking forever so I got on to facebook on his computer. He was still logged in. So… I looked at his messages. I know, I know. I’m a bad person and I don’t trust him and blah blah blah. Point is, I found something. I found that he had been talking to lots and lots of girls. He was telling them how he wanted to meet them and that they are beautiful. These girls didn’t seem interested in him. That wasn’t the point though. He was still talking to them. To add to what I found about the girls. It also turns out that he was using facebook to continue talking to druggies. He was still getting high. In my eyes, he was cheating and lying to me. Not physically cheating but it hurt, a lot. I was crushed.
He told me he was sorry over and over again. I guess at some point I forgave him but I have never forgotten. I felt betrayed. Not just about the girls though but also the drugs. I was more worried about the drugs.
4 years ago: Since I saw his conversations with other girls, where he used the term ‘fan boying’ btw, and with drug dealers, he has had it pretty rough. I started opening my eyes to what was really going on. One of the turning points in our relationships was the first time I saw him while he was high. I went over to his house after he hadn’t been talking to me for a few days to address him in person. He apparently hadn’t been home because he was getting high with a friend. I was so mad at him for what he was doing that I slapped him. He slapped me back. I fell to the ground and I later had bruises on my nose from my glasses. I was so mad. I screamed and ran away. Not before I tried throwing my keys and my bag at him. I knew he wasn’t going to come after me and I guess, I knew that if I didn’t show him that he was worth something, he would keep doing this and he would at some point hurt himself. So I stayed. I was stupid. So stupid. When I was told about other girls getting beat up by their boyfriends, I thought they were stupid for staying with them. I kept telling myself that it was different in our case. I hit him first. He had told me that no matter who hit him, he would hit back. It was my fault after all, right?
3.5 years ago: He went to jail. On Valentines Day. It wasn’t his first time but it was his first time while he was dating me. He had gone before a few times but only stayed over night. This time was different. He needed more help. He was caught smoking. He was arrested and was kept there for a few months. I was mad at first. Then it was sad because I didn’t have my best friend to talk to but it was nice not to have to worry about him all the time. We would talk every now and then but I was never really expecting anything. Some times I would get a letter from him and some times I would write him back. He would tell me that he was better and that he never wanted to go back to jail again. I believed him. When he got out, he seemed better and healthier. We went back to being ‘in love’ and happy. No one really knew he had gone to jail in my family. I was afraid they would all treat him differently. In my mind, it wasn’t his fault he went to jail. Once he was out though, I found it harder and hard to trust him with anything. Every chance I got I was looking at his phone. Every time I was able to, I found that he had been on some dating site talking to girls and he was still talking to drug dealers. Every now and then he would disappear for days without tell anyone. He would come back and only say that his phone had died, or he had tried to call but his phone wasn’t working. I was get mad a yell when he finally called me back or answered my calls but I would always end up with him. It was around this time that our next accident happened.
I went to his house after another one of this disappearances to accuse him of getting high again and lying about it. We were both yelling at each other and I had had enough so I hit his chest with both my hands and he proceeded to push me to the ground onto the stairs (I had a pretty big bruise after this). I got up, he was blocking my way to leave so I pushed him again. He shoved me harder than last time causing me to trip up the last few steps and fall into the wall behind me. I was still yelling and screaming at him. He was trying to shut me up so he picked me up by my head and dragged me over to the chair and dropped me there. My mouth started bleeding and I really wanted to leave. He convinced me to wait and let him help me with my mouth. I waited down stairs while he got water and ice. While he was in the kitchen, I ran out the front door and he chased after me. He caught me and dragged me back inside. That was a bad day. He said he was sorry and that it was the drugs still in his system that made him act like that… I believed him. Again.
3 years ago: A few months went by and we were back to normal again. We were happy. He stopped smoking and he even got a job. I went to visit him at his work a few times to show my support. It didn’t last long. After his first paycheck he disappeared. Then he got arrested. He was back in jail for another few months. Again, it was nice not having him around for me to worry about. He got out of jail a few days before Valentines Day. Almost a full year after he was put in the first time. I had missed him. I had forgiven him again about the whole thing and took him back.
Over the next few months we had our ups and downs like every couple does. No more hitting though, and that told me he wasn’t smoking. The only thing that was going on that I didn’t like was that I would still find dating websites on his phone where he talked to other girls. This was just me going crazy.
That summer his cousin got married. We went to the wedding together at his family’s farm house. It was beautiful and a little over the top. They were getting filmed for Texas Weddings or something. I’m not quite sure about the whole thing. Anyways, He was drinking heavily the whole night. There was an open bar, of course. He didn’t dance with me but once the whole night. He said it was because he can’t dance. Neither can I but it was a wedding and I wanted to dance with him. At one point we were sitting together and a song that tells you what to do came on. I asked if he wanted to dance and we got up. I started to go to the dance floor to dance. I turned around to look at him and smile but he wasn’t there. I looked through the opening on the tent and there he was. At the open bar. Drinking. I was hurt that he didn’t want to dance with me. The next day, on our 3 hour drive home, we fought about the night before. About his drinking and not dancing with me. He was getting defensive. I could tell that he was getting upset and frustrated with me. I remember like it happened yesterday. It was in slow motion. While he was driving, he used one hand to fight the urge to punch me then slap me. He did the hand motions but didn’t actually do it. He was still driving at this point and I was now yelling about how he was about to hit me. He then decided to cover my mouth to get me to stop talking. He didn’t cover my mouth though. His hand went into my mouth and he pulled. He cut open my cheek. I was spitting up blood and I could move my mouth. There was a large cut on the inside of my cheek. When I started spitting up blood he pull over at a gas station. I ran out and went to the bathroom and cried. I wanted to call my mom or someone else to come pick me up but I didn’t want anyone to know it was him that did this to me. So I cleaned myself up and got back into the car with him. We drove back in silence. I’m sure he said sorry but that I don’t remember. I was frozen and numb the rest of the drive back. Writing about this now, I can’t help but go over my scar on the inside of my cheek with my tongue.
2 years ago: After the drive back, I was very upset with him. We barely talked or saw each other. When the school year started, I was surprised that he had signed up to take a few classes this semester. He wasn’t the ‘school’ type. Like I said, he is very smart but he isn’t the sit-in-a-desk-and-take-notes type of student. He was taking 2 classes. He also had a job lined up that would start in October. A month or so into school starting he got arrested again. It wasn’t for smoking though. He got arrested for stealing from an Academy or something. He stole clay disks for shooting, I think. I would say I was mad, and I was, but I get mad every time he goes to jail yet I keep going back to him. Writing about it is making me feel more and more stupid. I can’t believe I would be so desperate to stay with him. But I did. Jail was different for him this time. He was given the opportunity to still go to school while he was there. I’m not quite sure how that worked but he left jail every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. He was out from like 9 am to 6 pm. That way he could still go to school and study and do his work. During that time I only saw him once, I believe. That hurt too. He was out and sometimes not doing anything, he would talk to me but he wouldn’t see me. Only once he came to my work to surprise me. Again, I knew where he was and it was not as stressful. He got out right before Christmas. He apologize and explained to me why he stole. He wanted to take me out instead of me paying for everything. What?? Really? This time I didn’t know if we were going to get back together or not.
We obviously got back together at some point.
The last year and a half: It has been rough. We loved we fought we broke up we got back together. I have yet to be able to trust him. Since then he has smoked on and off (From what I know he has been clean for a year) and he has talked to other girls on and off (From what I know, the last girl was this past summer). The longest we went without talking or seeing each other while he wasn’t in jail, was a couple months. I’m officially done. He hasn’t gone to school since that semester that he was in jail. He has gone through a job or two but he can’t seem to keep them. He has a job now, he works at a restaurant as a cook. He works from 4:45-11:30 almost every night. That only leaves about half an hour a day for us to talk. I’m at work from 7:30-3:30 then I drive for 30 minutes to my other job that is from 4-6:30. During my drive I will call him and sometimes he will answer. When he didn’t I would get upset because that was the only time during the day that we could talk. It seemed like he didn’t care. Turns out he wasn’t getting up on time to take a shower before talking to me so he would take a shower while I was driving to work. He would sleep from whenever he got home to about 2 in the afternoon. That’s over 12 hours of sleep. I had about half of that a night and I work all day. So needless to say, I was upset that he wouldn’t try his hardest to talk to me. I could go on and on about what he hasn’t done to try and fix our relationship. I have called and called, I have emailed and texted, I have instagramed and facebooked and tweeted him. He has done nothing to show me that he is just as serious about this as I am. Not only that, but whenever I would get ahold of him, I was upset about him not talking to me. Then he would proceed to get mad at me for getting mad at him! I don’t get it.
So that has been my last 6 years with this guy. It’s over now, and hopefully it will remain over.